The New Serenity Prayer

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had
to kill today because they pissed me off;

Ya know, it really sucks when a friend drives across country to visit you and pretty much the entire time she's there, one or the other of you is sick and as such, pretty much the entire time she's there, you do nothing but stay home and try to get well.

That's pretty much how sister-friend Stephanie's visit went.  She's leaving today, heading back to the solitude of the Maine woods and I'll miss having her around. The good news is that she's leaving much healthier than she arrived.

We did manage to get out of the house over the past few days and do some shopping, even managing to visit one of our favorite-type stores (Hobby Lobby).  Yesterday we decided to venture further than two miles from home and went to the Dallas Arboretum & Botanical Gardens (if you live in the area and have never been there, it's worth a visit).  Someday when she visits, we're going to get out and actually go do something!

Anyway, after Steph leaves, I get to return to my regularly scheduled programming.  Except, I am seriously considering changing channels.

Not in a life-changing-new-experiences-OMG-you-did-what-kind of way. No, I'm just considering going back to work.

Tom doesn't really want me to work full time, however in order to have benefits (such as health insurance), it's going to have to be full-time. Retail generally doesn't hire full-time with benefits as far as I know (tell me differently if I'm wrong!) and getting back into the food industry isn't especially appealing.  I hate accounting even though I did it for over twenty-five years.

But in a sick sort of way, I kinda miss the construction business.  So that's what I'm going to look in to. Even though I'm in a completely new area from where I spent all my time in the industry, construction is an extremely small world. However, I will accept any leads ...

... Any body know somebody who may know a friend of a cousin of his sister-in-law's brother who just might be in the construction business? And has no ties to the mafia?

Every body is accusing the media of sensationalism … I'm still waiting for intelligence!  Real headlines from across the country:

"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says" (Guess that's why he's the expert, huh?)

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers" (Wonder how you apply for the job?)

"Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?" (Debris?! Good gawd, I hope not!)

"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over" (I always wondered how those new species pop up!)

"Miners Refuse to Work after Death" (Well, duh … do you blame them?)

"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant" (Obviously the community service bit didn't work!)

"War Dims Hope for Peace" (Yep, sounds like a political statement to me!) 

"If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile" (Wait! Didn't Dubya say this about war or something?)

"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures" (Yep, one more rocket scientist in our midst!)

"Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide" (Huh … wonder what gave it away?) 

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges" (Well, I suppose it's better than Elmer's glue)

"Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge" (I'm guessing he already had his battery charged!)

"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group" (Yoo-hoo! Open your eyes! You don't have to look far!)

"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas In Spacecraft" (Exactly why I don't drink Tang!)

"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks" (Mmmmmm! Especially with a little mustard and onion!)

"Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half" (WOW! And I thought my high school was tough!)

"Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors"  (Probably some new mutant strain of growth hormone … or too many kid snacks)
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead" (But it's sure gonna save on funeral costs!)

Happy birthday, my dear blog-friend Deirdre!

It began with a slight irritation, the kind you experience when the tag on your shirt rubs against your neck, except this was just below the waist-line on the upper buttocks.

It progressed to a full-blown rash looking spot about the size of a fist, except this "rash" didn't itch.  It was very tender, almost like a bruise.  Over the period of a couple of days, it became down right painful.

When the second and third spots appeared, one above the knee on the inner thigh, the other on the shin-bone, I figured it was time to check it out on the old trusty Medical website.  What I found came as a surprise!

I had heard of this disease but I had absolutely no clue what it was, where it came from, how it was contracted or what the treatment was.  I always thought it was something that old people got, not young'uns like me. But after a visit to my little Korean doctor around the corner (this was Tuesday so I was in luck), it was confirmed ...

Shingles.

However, since I never do anything the normal way I wasn't surprised when, after he looked at the rash (now in four different places), he had a very puzzled look on his face and excused himself for a moment.  When he came back into the room, he had his own trusty medical book.

He opened it to a page with a diagram of the human body and all of the nerve tracts; he touched one of the rash areas, looked back at the book and then followed what should have been a nerve tract; he then did the same thing with another rash area.

When he shook his head and said something like "Hmmm, very interesting" and my response was "What??" he explained that normally (key word here), shingles follows a single nerve tract.  My case was following four different nerve tracts.

*sigh*  At least the treatment is the same for all four ... a quick shot in the butt and a prescription.  The good news is that once you've had shingles, the chance of a recurrence is very slim.

The bad news is that I can't wear a dress to the retirement dinner Friday evening because I have this ugly rash on my left leg!

(FYI ... if you've had chickenpox, you are a candidate for shingles!  For more information, go to http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/2001/301_pox.html)

Jerry from over at Duble sent in this question:

Dear LFH:
I am a day late but i couldn't get into very many blogs yesterday, or this morning for that matter,
here is my question.
and it is related to herbs,
IF to men are having an argument, is it possible for both of them to be wrong?

Dear Jerry:
   Don't worry about not being able to get into blogs. It seems to be an on-going problem around here.  However, if you're late a second time, you will be penalized.  Just remember that.
   Now, as to your question ... as I pointed out to Herb, do you really think a woman has to be present for a man to be wrong?  This applies anytime, any place, and matters not how many men are involved. Anytime there is more than one man in the same location at the same time and there is an argument, the rule applies.

Sincerely,
LFH
******

And from Sharky over at The Party Place:

Dear LFH:
I was just wondering if you were given a choice to own cows...how many would you want and why?

Okay, I'll bite ... raise your hand if you see this entry!

I realize that BD is having some issues with servers.

I realize that computers are extremely touchy.

I realize that SISO is not the computer's fault.

But ... damn!  I'm getting very bored with re-reading the same entries over and over and over.  Not that I do that (actually read them over and over and over).

I suppose I needed a break from blogging any way.  And this week has turned into a good time to take that break.

Steph is better but is still coughing her lungs out (I expect any day to find body parts somewhere between her room and the kitchen);

Mike (Tom's boss) passed away Saturday evening (we knew it wouldn't be long after he quit going in to the office). The services are tomorrow afternoon;

We have a retirement dinner/roast to go to Friday evening;

Saturday is Tom's granddaughter's first birthday party;

Steph and I have a ton of shopping to get done as soon as she's well enough to venture out ... she's not going home until we have some fun ... and we're not going to have fun until she's well.  I figure she may be here for Thanksgiving.

Which means she may very well be here when Michelle and my grandbabies visit at the end of the month (if they figure out when and how they're getting here ... since my dear son-in-law does not fly)!

So that's my update as of right now.  I'll check back in soon.  And for those of you who left questions for the mailbag, rest assured. 

I have the answers ready!

Well, sister-friend Stephanie finally made it to Texas Tuesday evening after a long, tiring drive from California and only one speeding ticket.

Obviously she was pretty exhausted so it was a very early evening.  She was also sick.  She was sick when she left Maine for California but said she was getting better and then caught "it" again from the grandkids.

I gave her no choice. I told her she was going to the doctor first thing yesterday morning.  I told her I'd take her to my little Korean guy right down the street. Which is where we headed around 12:30 yesterday afternoon.

He closes at noon on Wednesday. Did I know that? Of course not ... I don't get sick on Wednesdays.  So, we headed out to find another PrimeCare-CareOne-WalkIn-Clinic-type place and after driving around for an hour, finally found one (between closing early on Wednesdays and being closed permanently, it turned into more of a chore than we imagined!)

Three hours later, watching four patients come and go after she went in, I finally went to the counter and asked if they had lost her.  It was the only smile I saw from the receptionist the entire time ... and then it was more of a small smirk.

"She'll be out in a few minutes," was the reply I received.

"Great. I know how you guys tell time ... I'll be outside in my car thawing out.  You  must be hanging sides of beef in the other room, as cold as it is in here."  The smile-smirk disappeared.

Anyway, the "it" that Stephanie supposedly caught from the grandkids turned out to be pneumonia. She was, according to the doctor, about two days away from being hospitalized.  Instead, she got a shot in the butt and two prescriptions.

Not real sure just what this is going to do to our girls night out but I can guarantee one thing ... I'm sticking to my little Korean guy around the corner.  Not only is his office much more comfortable, he smiles.

I just can't get sick after noon on Wednesdays.

*tap*

*tap, tap*

"Hello?"

*tap, tap, tap*

"Anybody there?"

*tap*

"Hey, BD! You ready to quit playing Hide-n-Seek?"

*Wanders off to look for other entries*

I have alway had an extremely high tolerance for drugs.  Some people can take one or two Advil and it knocks them out (Tom); Give them half a Tylenol PM and they're gone for at least eight hours (Tom);  A Vicodin will erase a entire day (Tom); And just sniffing the bottle that held Ambien will be enough for those butterflies to flutter about (Tom).

When I had dental surgery years ago, the surgeon didn't want to take that last minute chance that I wouldn't be knocked out so we "experimented" with a few different drugs in the weeks prior to the surgery.  I already knew from an "experiment" in high school that Seconal made me sicker than a dog so we crossed that off the list right away.

First we tried Valium. It did nothing.
Next came Xanax. Nada.
Ativan ... nope.

Finally, we tried Halcion.  The instructions were to begin with half a tablet, wait thirty minutes and if nothing happened, take the other half. At this point, I should be in la-la land but in case I wasn't, I was to wait another thirty minutes and repeat those steps until I was. 

Saturday afternoon.  I took the first half.  And waited.  Took the second half.  And waited. Repeated the process.  And waited.  After the third full round, I remember thinking "this is ridiculous" and walking into the living room to make some phone calls.

That's all I remember until the next morning when I called the surgeon and said "I think we have a winner!"  When he asked how many I had to take and I told him, he was amazed.  He told me that one whole tablet would have knocked out a full grown man. Two would have put an NFL linebacker out of the game. Three ... well, I seemed to have the constitution of a horse!

I don't remember the surgery later that week, but apparently I had a great time. I was insistent that I needed no help walking up the stairs even though my feet were no longer connected to my brain. In the middle of the procedure I insisted that I had to use the bathroom (which was outside the office and down the hall).  I jumped up out of the chair, strolled through the waiting area, blood and saliva dripping down my chin, cheerfully greeted the waiting patients, and whistled my way down the hall.

Since I haven't had a full nights sleep in so long, I've been wondering if Halcion is still on the market.  But after taking half a Vicodin last night for a headache and sleeping almost all night, maybe I should forget it.

I have a feeling my tolerance level might have dropped a bit.  From what I (don't) remember though, that Halcion was a lot more fun!