Letters From Heaven Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, but rather to skid in sideways yelling "YAHOO! What a ride!"
"When I am no longer here and can not comfort you or touch you or wipe away your tears, remember that my soul will gently caress your heart through the soft breezes of springtime."
P. Schultz
I have a friend. A stupid friend. I realize that probably isn't a nice thing to say but even she realizes it so I figure it's fair game.
This friend is in a situation that she's trying to figure out whether to stay in as it is, take her chances at a confrontation or just say screw it and get the hell out.
She thought about writing to one of those "Dear Abby" advice columns (much like Abby considered the medical column in her local newspaper), but when I suggested throwing the situation into the blog-basket and see what kind of advice the real world has to offer, she decided to give it a shot.
So ... here's the situation:
She has been in a relationship for about three years; she moved in with her "love" about a year and a half ago; They moved to another state about six months ago and bought a house. The thing is, her name is not on the house (there were a couple of reasons for this at the time, but we won't go into that). Over the past several months, there have been a couple of conversations in which her "love" insinuated that putting her name on the house was something they needed to do, especially if something happened to him.
Now because of the financial situation ... he makes an excellent salary, has several investment accounts, IRA, CDs, etc., ... she doesn't have to work, not does he want her to work. She is basically a "kept" woman. She lives in a nice house (which she decorated and she takes care of), she can buy just about anything she wants or needs with no questions asked (well, there are some limitations ... a new car might be pushing it), she pretty much wants for nothing. Something women around the world would give their eye teeth for.
Except ... everything he has, all of those investments, including the newest life insurance policy and 401K through his new employer, have his (grown) children as beneficiaries. And she knew that going in to the situation. What bothers her is that he recently changed an attachment to his will in which he specifically listed the house they now share as being a part of his assets that are to go to the kids. Not to her.
The thing is, she's afraid to confront him because what if he says something like "You don't like it? Leave" and she can't just say screw it and walk away because she has nothing to walk away with ... no job, no money, no place to go. Oh, there are places she could go but ... she really doesn't want to go.
My advice to her is to suck it up, get a job (whether he likes it or not), and get financially independent so that when she does confront him, she can leave if that's what happens.
I thought about writing something humorous and witty this morning, but I couldn't think of anything.
Then I thought I'd write something inspirational and uplifting, but again my little brain went blank.
I moved on to something intelligent and thought-provoking, but I had nothing.
I considered sharing one of my secret original recipes but my originality seems to have taken a vacation and I was pretty sure that most people out there are already familiar with Shake-n-Bake.
Then, I received an email from a long time friend ... an old boyfriend from high school who found me a few years ago on Classmates.com. We've kept in touch via email ever since.
The email was short, simply telling me that he wouldn't be around for a while and to do an internet search on his step-daughters name. He added a P.S.: "Don't ever pass up a chance to tell your daughter and grandkids you love them."
Just from the tone of the email, I knew this was not going to be good. And it wasn't.
Holly Jean Quick, sixteen years old, was raped and murdered in Sparks, Nevada.
You never know when it will be too late to say "I love you." Don't take the chance.
I'm sure you're all wondering how sister-friend Stephanie is doing in her cross-country drive. And I suppose if you aren't wondering, well, you may as well stop reading right now because that's exactly what this entry is about.
Before she left Maine, we had a little conversation in which I told her she was to check in with me every night once she reached her overnight-stay destination. Trust me, there was a reason for this ... Remember, we drove across country together in the opposite direction three years ago.
I know how she can get lost! Or sidetracked. And as much as I love her - bless her little pea-pickin' heart - she does have a habit of not exactly paying attention and has been know to fall off of ladders, step in holes, drill through her own thumbs ... you get the picture.
So to rest assured that she was in one piece and had arrived safely where she was supposed to arrive, I asked her to call me every night.
She left Maine on Friday and Friday evening when I hadn't heard from her, I naturally started calling. Fortunately, she did have her cell phone turned on and charged (yeah ... she has been known to forget those tiny details) and right on schedule, she was in New York state.
When I asked her why she hadn't called, her response was "Oh. Were you serious about that? I thought you were kidding." HA! Darn tootin' I was serious!
I guess I scared her because she has called every night now. So far, she's only managed to be almost run off the road once (by a hundred year old guy in Massachusetts ... go figure!); got lost once (okay, she said the directions were wrong); ended up being stranded at some motel in Indiana because the roads were flooded; and she has only lost one day on her schedule.
Once she reaches California, she's going to spend a week with her daughter and then head out here for a couple of weeks. After that, she'll be on her way back to the Maine wilderness.
So I figure I've got another two nights of tracking her before she hits the West Coast, then a week respite; then about four more nights of tracking and a two week respite while she's here; and then another four nights of tracking and she'll be back home.
I think I need to look into one of those thingamajigs the FBI uses to keep track of mobsters. Anybody know where I can find one?
Everyday household items have more uses than ever before. I'm sharing my list of common products that have a variety of uses so that not only will you never again be uninformed, you will never starve.Especially if you put all of this information to use … all you'll have to do is chew on an arm or something.
1. Hair Conditioners: Budweiser beer conditions the hair; Cool-Whip will condition your hair in minutes; Mayonnaise not only conditions, it also kills head lice! (And not only will your hair feel soft & shiny and lice-free, you'll be ready for the next potluck!)
2. Sticking bicycle chain and no grease handy?Try Pam no-stick cooking spray.You can also use it to remove paint and grease from your hands. And when you're done cleaning those hands, you can forget the manicurist! Pam cooking spray will also dry finger nail polish! (It also makes it easier to explain why you keep a can of it in the bathroom!)
3. Want a quick facial? Try Elmer's Glue! Paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads disappear! (Of course you can't move your eyebrows, but hey … there's no more dead skin!)
4. Want Shiny Hair? Use brewed Lipton Tea (Makes you wonder what happens if you use another brand, huh?)
5. Too much time in the sun? Empty a large size Nestea into your bath water to cool down (And what if I want to use Lipton?)
6. Minor burn? Put a dab of Colgate or Crest toothpaste on the burn; Goggles and glasses keep fogging up? Coat with Colgate toothpaste; Crayon on the wall? Slather it with Colgate toothpaste and brush it! Stains on clothes? Rub in a little Colgate! (I'm still stuck on those goggles … wouldn't that make it a little difficult to see? Sure, they won't fog up but …)
7. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it! (Wonder if this works if you burned it on hot sugar to begin with?)
8. Arthritis a problem? Spray the area with WD-40 and rub in; it takes the sting out of insect stings, too. (Except bee stings apparently)
9. Bee stings? Use meat tenderizer (Why? Does it make it easier for the bee?)
10. Chigger bite? Slap a dab of Preparation H on the spot; Puffy eyes? Pat a dab of Preparation H on those puffy spots (Somehow, putting something on my face that I just used on my butt doesn't seem right to me. For some reason)
11. Paper cut? Close it up with Crazy Glue or Chap Stick (Don't use the glue if the paper cut in on your lips, though)
12. Stinky feet? Jell-o! (Powdered or prepared? You can try it either way, I guess. I'd wait for it to dry before putting on shoes, though!)
13. Fungus on toenails or fingernails? Vicks vapor rub (Yeah, that wouldn't draw attention to a fungus, would it?)
14. Dirty dishwasher pipes? Add Kool-Aid to the detergent section and run a cycle; It will also clean a toilet; and for fun with Kool-Aid, add it to Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint … your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it! Or Tie Dye a T-shirt by mixing a solution of Kool-Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak. (That's kinda scary … we drink this stuff! Wonder if it works with Yoplait?)
15. Scratches on your CD collection? Try Peanut butter(I'd suggest the creamy kind). Wipe off with a coffee filter paper; it will also remove ink from the face of dolls (Only the face? What if I wrote all over the body?); to remove labels off glassware, rub with Peanut butter (And all this time I've been using Goo-Be-Gone!)
16. Heavy dandruff? Pour on the vinegar! (Oh, sure … nobody will notice the dandruff but I can guarantee its still not gonna help you get a date!)
17. Body paint a "must-have" in your home? Make your own with Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour into an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice! (I would suggest waiting for it to cool a bit before applying … hot grease on the wrong parts of the body can be very ugly!)
18. Want to preserve a newspaper clipping? Mix l large bottle of club soda and one cup of Milk of Magnesia, soak for 20 minutes and let dry. It will last for many years! (Wait … doesn't newsprint smear when it gets wet? Makes ya wonder what that stuff preserves in your body, doesn't it?)
19. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's! (HA! Not any of the Slinkies I've ever played with! Have you ever seen how those things get twisted around?)
20. Wine stains? Pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt (What if I don't have Morton? Does it have to be iodized? Can't I just suck up those wine stains like I usually do?)
I remember her as a tiny, shy, stubborn, six year old with long blond Goldilocks curls. She came to live with us at about the same time the "father" of the house began his sexual molestation era.
I remember that I had very little patience with a six year old following me around, constantly asking questions, roller skating behind me as I rode my bike up and down the street wanting only to escape into that crystal blue sky.
I remember the day she was was singing her little heart out as she followed me and the neighbor's big, white German Shepard running out to the sidewalk to greet us as he always did.
I remember being so angry because she would not leave me alone and wishing that the dog would bite her.
I remember her scream. I remember turning around and seeing her pinned under the dog. I remember the dog's jaws clamped on the back of her head. I remember the doctor. I remember the fear I felt because I had made this happen. I remember swearing to myself that I would never wish harm to another human being.
I remember praying when I left that home that the same fate I had suffered at the hands of our "father" did not fall to her. I remember hoping that she grew up to be a happy, healthy, beautiful person.
I will never know.
Marchelle died of leukemia shortly before her sixteenth birthday.
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In Marchelle's memory, and for every child with any form of childhood cancer, please support the fundraiser being held today, September 25th, at every Chili's restaurant across the country.
Today, Chili's will donate 100% of it's profits to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. In addition, you can visit www.createapepper.com to purchase "Create a Pepper" T-shirts, which can be customized with permanent marker, or purchase a "Create a Pepper" gift card.
Their goal is $3 million. A twenty dollar meal is but a drop in the bucket.
... Or when you have nothing interesting or clever to write, steal an idea from some one else! In this case, I stole the meme from Miss Candy-Apple (thank you, Candy!)
Appetizer: What was the very last song you listened to?
"Ghost in This House" - Allison Krauss & Union Station. Over and over and over and over and ... Tom is trying to learn it on the guitar, along with the words. His way of doing that is to listen to it and play along. Over and over and over and over and ...
Soup: What is one company/store/corporation you would recommend that people stay away from?
WOO-HOO! Soap box time!
Any body who has read this blog for more than a week already knows how I feel about Wally World so I won't go into the details (again). Suffice it to say, were it up to me, there would be no such place within a hundred mile radius of my home.
Their image is faltering lately (again) with all of the negative publicity about employee benefits so what do they do? Rather than try to improve those benefits for the people who work their butts off to make the corporation richer, they are lowering prescription drugs prices for the public. Well, who wouldn't go to Wally World and pay $4 for a prescription that would cost $100 somewhere else (I mean besides me)?
In the meantime, the employees are still treated like third-world, second-rate citizens. But ... they only have to pay $4.00 for their prescriptions! Just like every body else who doesn't work for them to help make the corporation richer! Oh wait, any one who buys those $4 prescriptions is making the corporation richer.
Salad: On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy having your picture made?
Hmmmmm ... trick question. "Made"? Or "taken"? If someone wants to make a picture of me, please ... make it sexy, seductive and gorgeous. I hate having my picture taken! My daughter and granddaughters got all of the photogenic genes in this family, believe me.
Main Course: Besides a bookmark, what is something you've used to keep your place in a book?
Bookmark? What's a bookmark? That's probably the one thing I never use! Let's see ... I've used the book cover itself (the fly leaf); those tear-out-subscription-order-cards from magazines; pencils or pens; sticky notes; photographs; book of stamps; business cards; torn pieces of paper; paper clips; reading glasses; the cat's tail (that only happened once); and yeah, I've dog-eared the page. But only on paper-backs!
Dessert: Name a food that you like that most people don't.
Escargot! Sweetbreads! Chicken Livers! Chicken Gizzards! Marrow! German Chocolate cake in a big glass of ice cold milk! No, no, no! Not all together ... individually! Well, except the German Chocolate cake in the glass of milk. That gets mixed together. Mmmmmmmm! Good!
The year was 1975. My favorite car for years had been the Pontiac Gran Prix and I finally had one. White with a black top, long and sleek and powerful. Three hundred plus horse power. I managed to get my first speeding ticket (and the second and third) with my high powered beauty.
If you asked my mechanic however, he would shudder at the very mention of the car. It did have a history of problems ... to the point where I would call Dennis and the first thing he would say is "Now what?" In spite of that, I loved the car.
Working for a now defunct consumer lending company, I had just been transferred to the downtown Redwood City office as Assistant Manager. As usual, parking in downtown was at a premium and I finally managed to find a space down the street and around the corner from the office.
At noon, I wasted no time grabbing my purse, fumbling for my keys and heading for the door.
Except I couldn't find my keys. Back at my desk, I emptied my purse. I rummaged through drawers. I checked all of the other desks. I tore apart the front counter. Checked the bathroom. Upstairs. Under desks. Employees pockets.
No keys. Okay, I must have left them in my car.
And when I finally went outside and walked down the street and around the corner, not only did I not have my keys, I no longer had my car.
Gone. Stolen. Kaput. Bye-bye.
My beloved 1968 Gran Prix was in the hands of strangers! My boyfriend picked me up after work and took me out to dinner, which turned out to be a celebratory dinner with my mechanic and several other people who were familiar with the car's history.
Two weeks later, I received a call from the Palo Alto police department. My car had been found, though not quite in the original shape it had been in when it was taken. The transmission was destroyed; two tires were flat; and one rim was damaged beyond repair. To top it off, and what really irritated me the most, was that my white linen blazer had been used as a rag for greasy hands!
Since this was in the days of no insurance required, and I was one of those who believed I would never need it anyway, I had no insurance. Not only was the cost of repairs out of my pocket, I had to pay the towing company for towing the car and the storage fees. Which it turned out was for three days because that's how long it took the police department to contact me.
In spite of Dennis' grumblings, he did fix the transmission for me. But I still think he had something to do with the police department taking their time to contact me. I'm pretty sure he tried to convince them to let the car stay there forever but they finally got him to hand over the paperwork.
See, not only was he my mechanic, he was also a Palo Alto police officer.
