Everyday household items have more uses than ever before.  I'm sharing my list of common products that have a variety of uses so that not only will you never again be uninformed, you will never starve.  Especially if you put all of this information to use … all you'll have to do is chew on an arm or something.

1. Hair Conditioners: Budweiser beer conditions the hair; Cool-Whip will condition your hair in minutes; Mayonnaise not only conditions, it also kills head lice! (And not only will your hair feel soft & shiny and lice-free, you'll be ready for the next potluck!)

2. Sticking bicycle chain and no grease handy?  Try Pam no-stick cooking spray.  You can also use it to remove paint and grease from your hands. And when you're done cleaning those hands, you can forget the manicurist! Pam cooking spray will also dry finger nail polish! (It also makes it easier to explain why you keep a can of it in the bathroom!)

3. Want a quick facial? Try Elmer's Glue!  Paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads disappear! (Of course you can't move your eyebrows, but hey … there's no more dead skin!)

4. Want Shiny Hair? Use brewed Lipton Tea (Makes you wonder what happens if you use another brand, huh?)

5. Too much time in the sun? Empty a large size Nestea into your bath water to cool down (And what if I want to use Lipton?)

6. Minor burn? Put a dab of Colgate or Crest toothpaste on the burn; Goggles and glasses keep fogging up?  Coat with Colgate toothpaste; Crayon on the wall? Slather it with Colgate toothpaste and brush it! Stains on clothes?  Rub in a little Colgate! (I'm still stuck on those goggles … wouldn't that make it a little difficult to see? Sure, they won't fog up but …)

7.  Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it! (Wonder if this works if you burned it on hot sugar to begin with?)

8.  Arthritis a problem? Spray the area with WD-40 and rub in; it takes the sting out of insect stings, too. (Except bee stings apparently)

9.  Bee stings?  Use meat tenderizer (Why? Does it make it easier for the bee?)

10.  Chigger bite?  Slap a dab of Preparation H on the spot; Puffy eyes? Pat a dab of Preparation H on those puffy spots (Somehow, putting something on my face that I just used on my butt doesn't seem right to me. For some reason)

11.  Paper cut? Close it up with Crazy Glue or Chap Stick (Don't use the glue if the paper cut in on your lips, though)

12.  Stinky feet?  Jell-o! (Powdered or prepared? You can try it either way, I guess. I'd wait for it to dry before putting on shoes, though!)

13. Fungus on toenails or fingernails?  Vicks vapor rub (Yeah, that wouldn't draw attention to a fungus, would it?)

14. Dirty dishwasher pipes? Add Kool-Aid to the detergent section and run a cycle; It will also clean a toilet; and for fun with Kool-Aid, add it to Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint … your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it! Or Tie Dye a T-shirt by mixing a solution of Kool-Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak. (That's kinda scary … we drink this stuff! Wonder if it works with Yoplait?)

15. Scratches on your CD collection? Try Peanut butter (I'd suggest the creamy kind). Wipe off with a coffee filter paper; it will also remove ink from the face of dolls (Only the face? What if I wrote all over the body?); to remove labels off glassware, rub with Peanut butter (And all this time I've been using Goo-Be-Gone!)

16. Heavy dandruff?  Pour on the vinegar! (Oh, sure … nobody will notice the dandruff but I can guarantee its still not gonna help you get a date!)

17. Body paint a "must-have" in your home?  Make your own with Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour into an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice! (I would suggest waiting for it to cool a bit before applying … hot grease on the wrong parts of the body can be very ugly!)

18. Want to preserve a newspaper clipping?  Mix l large bottle of club soda and one cup of Milk of Magnesia, soak for 20 minutes and let dry. It will last for many years!  (Wait … doesn't newsprint smear when it gets wet? Makes ya wonder what that stuff preserves in your body, doesn't it?)

19. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's! (HA! Not any of the Slinkies I've ever played with! Have you ever seen how those things get twisted around?)

20. Wine stains? Pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt (What if I don't have Morton? Does it have to be iodized? Can't I just suck up those wine stains like I usually do?)